Posted 8:46 AM by Cat Named Eggroll

OH

MY

GOD

Posted 12:27 PM by Cat Named Eggroll
Just a note to all HIDEO people, I'm proclaiming this weekend "Abdul-O-Ramma" in honor of the plethora of shitty Paula Abdul videos on Launch.com. The following videos are claimed by people: Rush, Rush; Straight Up; Promise of a New Day; Forever Your Girl; and Opposites Attract. However, if the video you want to bash is on that list, and the person who chose it has not posted their shit-talking by 5 pm on Sunday, then feel free to nab it.

Let the festivities begin :)

Posted 12:19 AM by who's that girl
oh, i SO need to post in here. but the little wife is sleeping and i don't want to wake her up with shitty music, so boooo. i have one in mind though. keep it coming people. it's really funny. like, i need-to-wet-myself-funny. love you guys. heart heart.

Posted 8:01 PM by Cat Named Eggroll

the dweam is yours fowevah...

Meatloaf: Rock and Roll Dreams
Rating: Dog Shit

First, look at Meatloaf brood:

[image is a screenshot of launch.com artist page]

Okay, so this video isn't really that hideous until you consider the fact that it's Meatloaf. As in Meatloaf "I was a delinquent in Rocky Horror" Meatloaf. And it's Epic Meatloaf, no less. There are entirely too much smoke and lighting effects in this videoo, first of all... Whoa! Is this really a video, or did I get transported into a shitty goth nightclub? Then we see Mr. Loaf encased in glass... hello, Rocky Horror?? Is it just me, or is he trying to not-so-subtly remind people of his career peak in an RKO picture? Ooooh, and then he serenades the recently-abused woman as she looks on him in an adoringly-tragic way... Meatloaf: the hero? Enter wind of epic proportions and an exploding jukebox, along with a way oversaxed musical interlude. Oh, and whatever you do, don't forget the godly light, angelic chorus, and especially not the hovering angel in billowy cloth... *sigh* wretched, wretched, wretched. Funny, pathetic and sad, but not on par with Timmy T. But then, what is, really?

Posted 1:01 PM by Cat Named Eggroll

I got narcolepsy baby...

Enrique Iglesias: Hero
Rating: Dog Shit
Warning: This song may induce situational narcolepsy. Even in the performer.

Wow, I'm really branching out genre-wise, huh? I don't want this to be a "bag exclusively on old videos" blog, so today I went a-perusing in the Top 100 list over at launch, and came up with this gem. First we see good old Enrique looking vaguely like the tourist guy in that meme that has been floating around the internet for god knows how long. Ah yes, and who exactly decided to put Jennifer Love "I think I have enough poise to play Audrey Hepburn" Hewitt in here? I mean, I'll admit that she maintains the level of mediocrity pretty well, but come on? And do I really need to see the tongue action in the kissing portions? I think not. Oh, and what's with the graduitous "rubbing her body with piles of money" shit? More wrongness by the second. Then come the lovely images of Enrique falling asleep on his piano. Now, I knew I found this song boring, but I had no idea that even Enrique would feel that way. My final problem is that when the guy is beating the shit out of Enrique, we don't get to see it. Really disappointing. We do, however, get to see him stumbling around painfully like swamp thing and eventually dying while JLH displays her wretched acting skills, so I guess it kind of evens out at the end. So in short, this video has plenty of suckage, though I wouldn't give it a very high vote on the hilarity factor. It's shit, but only mildly entertaining shit.

Posted 2:09 PM by Cat Named Eggroll

Just in case you thought you'd never get sick of pink, orange, and yellow

You know, it really hurts to have to do this, because I like this band, but diz-amn... this video sucks the big suckage... and not in a funny or entertaining way. Don't watch this video if you can avoid it. This video will eat up your pink, orange, and yellow quotas for the next twenty years, so if you value your monitor, avoid at all costs.

Switchblade Symphony: Clown
Rating: Cow Shit

This video is total crap. I'm rating it Cow Shit because it's really that bad, but it's not at all amusing, so don't click on it expecting Timmy T-like charm. Most of it is just really psycho-delic (sp intentional) meanderings of the girls looking creepy and violently insane. Oh, and with fucked up colors. Don't watch it. Ever.

Worst.
Video.
Ever.

Posted 8:11 AM by Cat Named Eggroll
ok, but here's what I *really* want to know... Is there really a huge population of people who are fans of both Depeche Mode and Timmy T? Of Creed and Timmy T? Of Kid Fucking Rock and Timmy T?


[screen shot of launch.com artist profile page]

Posted 8:02 AM by Cat Named Eggroll
And the HIDEO Lifetime Achievment Award goes to:

Timmy T!

Posted 7:45 AM by who's that girl
Wendy's video of the day:

Did you ever wonder what happened to the guys from A Flock of Seagulls? Like what happened to them after the '80's collapsed and crappy pop icons were thrown to the wayside? Well, wonder no more! Look on in horror.

Start here.

Rating: dog shit
Just for the hair/lack thereof. Also, I seriously think Robert Smith should think about suing for Melancholy Copyright Infringement. YEAH HI THE EIGHTIES ARE OVER. EVEN FOR THE CURE.

Posted 7:34 AM by Cat Named Eggroll
heh