Posted 6:54 PM by who's that girl
Rednex: Cotton Eye Joe
Rating:Dog Shit

The unholy marriage of techno and white trash

Did anyone else have this phenomena in their home town? When I was about ten and living in Beaver Falls this restaurant called Boots' Roadhouse opened up down in Bridgewater. Whenever this particular song would come on, the waiters and waitresses would drop everything they were doing and line dance in the aisles until this song was over.

Watching this video, I immediately regressed back to ten years old, and began stomping around and slapping my knee much like those waiters and waitresses did back then. I couldn't stop myself. I am certain that there is some sort of strange subliminal message talking to me in that song saying "you don't need to shower everyday... who needs a hairbrush..."

And then I realised those are actually things I do say.

The point is, the song is really hideous. Then of course, hindsight is 20/20. The video is interesting but not really bad enough to achieve Timmy T-like status. The dudes in the band look kinda like weird cattle-ropin' zombies, but the chick is kinda hot. Just something about all that hay makes me uneasy.

This review made no sense. But then, neither does the song.

Posted 6:10 PM by Cat Named Eggroll
The Village People: In the Navy
Rating: Dog Shit

Just when you thought the U.S. Navy couldn't get any gayer...

Okay, so this video sucks, but by rights it doesn't actually suck bad enough to warrant a hideo entry... but here's the thing... it's really goddamn funny. From the begining frames, it's all queens on deck, random fuck dancing... even a riverdance homage by the indian... I mean, c'mon... its the Village People... and just as you'd expect them, too... hopelessly flaming, in a song that I'm sure they wrote for the sole purpose of singing the word "seaman".

Posted 5:49 PM by Cat Named Eggroll
Morton Downey Jr.: Hey Mr. Dealer
Rating: Dino Dung

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to present the Christian Coalition, proudly led by... Morton Downey Jr.???

This is the most beautiful piece of shit video I have ever seen. I swear, I haven't laughed so freaking hard in a looonnng loonnngg time. It's a chain-smoking, potty-mouth attack on drug dealers, most of which are represented by minorities in this vid (ethnocentric, much?) Classic lyrics include "you slime-sucking drug pushing sonofa bitch, I hope that you die slow" and "we won't rest till your ass is on death row." (this from a ciggarette waving, smoke blowing, angry yelling man who would later expire of lung cancer... hmmmm... as Amanda put it, apparently corporate drug dealers are okay...) But seriously, WATCH THIS VIDEO... it's the biggest pile of wrongness ever! Why is that one dealer wearing a newsie hat? What does the mouth on the guitar have to do with anything? Is all the profanity really necessary? And my biggest question... Why, dear god... Why?!?!?!?